“Dad thinks by buying me a doggy massage and giving me this organic rawhide that I will forgive his long days at the office. I’m not saying I won’t accept it, but it’s gonna cost him more than just paying someone to pet me.”
“I’m so sick of Dad feeding me leftovers, and the same bland dog food. And, I keep hearing everyone talking about Organic this, Gluten-free that…whatever that means. So, I took the liberty myself to enjoy one of Dad’s Organic protein shakes in the front yard. I must admit, not too shabby- and better than the 3 packages of hamburger buns I ate (yes, for you math wizzes that’s 24 buns- actually, NOT Gluten-free apparently) out of Dad’s pantry last month. For those of you that follow us on Facebook, you got to see the video of my Dad shaming me publicly. It still humors me that he thinks he has the upper hand….. but, I’ll digress… (and digest).
“My dad tells me patience is a virtue. I don’t know what that means but I’ll tell you this much- I don’t know how you humans sit in these uncomfortable lobby waiting chairs. I would like a comment card please, so I can suggest memory foam waiting beds in the lobby. This old pup isn’t getting any younger…”
When I was 3 years old, dad was so frustrated about my shedding that he took my hair to Pottery Barn and matched a couch color to my hair color (he has major issues- clearly). That was when I was yellow and just a pup. As of late, he has been complaining about all the “white” hairs all over the couch. Solution- I instructed him to buy me a new couch for my elder years that matches my new coat. Now, we are all happy. Sometimes I wonder why humans think they are in control…….
“Oh the holidays, the joyous holidays spent with family… As if it isn’t bad enough dealing with my dad all year, I then get to deal with his nephew Banks who thinks I am a jungle gym. Nevermind that eye of mine, it isn’t important kid..” #Bailey #scrooge
“Many of you saw my amazing ‘Dog of the Day’ award that was bestowed upon me by Camp Bow Wow in Nashville on a fine summer day a few weeks ago. What you didn’t know was that 5 minutes after this photo was taken, my dad revoked this award- something to do with me chewing up the seatbelt in his Jeep on the way home (yes, on the way home from receiving my ‘Dog of the Day’ award)” #irony
“It’s about time spring is here. Now when Dad locks me out in the backyard while he’s ‘workin’ (so he calls it), I can sneak in through the doggie door and sleep all day on the porch bed. He has no clue I sleep all day- thinks I’m guarding the house. Little does he know I milk the clock.” #daddyisasucker #dogsrule